I Will Be Happy

Training our brain to find happiness.

Let's talk about happiness. That elusive thing that can be all around you one instant and then be snatched away the very next. It is the key to our well being, the meaning of our very existence. So many people find it in so many different things. It is intimately intertwined with our expectations from ourselves and others, but in most cases, impossible to completely possess. Sometimes lurking just out of reach, it is the single most motivating reason behind a lot of our actions.

Where do we find happiness? How can we capture it? In the ever changing world around us, what are some ways to feel happy? Philosophers could maybe spend an eternity engaged in a discourse about how one can be truly happy. In the meantime, perhaps we could try a few more attainable things to try to feel the positive rush of emotions that is the warm glow of happiness.

Find an Activity you Enjoy

In times of strife or distress, having a known activity that our brain associates with positive feelings, can act as a safe haven for us to go to for a little bit when feeling down and low.

On days, when it is hard to even get out of bed, finding something that has the added incentive of being an enjoyable task, could be the very small push that we need to get up again. Is it hugging your pet, sipping a cup of hot cocoa, painting your nails? Whatever form the activity takes, it could help us take that first step out of the lows that try to trap us.

A quick way to disconnect from our blue thoughts and feelings is to immerse ourselves in something that we enjoy. Finding an activity that we can go back to as a means to de stress can be a very good long term investment. In times of strife or distress, having a known activity that our brain associates with positive feelings, can act as a safe haven for us to go to for a little bit when feeling down and low.

Research shows that being active can help keep the blues away by flooding our system with the "happy hormone" dopamine. Including some sort of activity, whether it is breaking a sweat at a gym, running or brisk walking on a trail to connect with nature, or breaking a leg to your favorite song, a routine which includes some physical activity can serve as a preemptive method to keep our bodies flush with dopamine and keep negative thoughts at bay. So, incorporating this in our regular routines can be a good way to keep a positive mindset.

Spend Time with Loved Ones

Making meaningful connections and spending quality time with others can boost our self confidence and our sense of belonging.

Humans are social creatures. Where isolation can feel jarring and lonesome, meaningful connections can bring comfort and a sense of kinship to us. Quality time spent with those near and dear to our hearts can be the exact kind of positive energy boost that we need. Whether it's friends or family or pets, spending time with those who we feel connected to can serve as a healing time for our souls.

Often times we take our relationships with others for granted and flit through life not being very present in everything that we do. Taking the time to connect with our loved ones, even if only for a brief moment, can make us feel more connected with our feelings and more secure in our relationships. A good friend is like a healing balm. Spending some quality time with them can be the warm, loving balm that can heal our souls.

Developing a habit of connecting with our loved ones, whether by phone or in person, can serve as a reminder that we are not alone. Making meaningful connections and spending quality time with others can boost our self confidence and our sense of belonging. It equips us with resilience by helping us build our tribe that we can fall back on during difficult times. Sharing our stories or experiences with our loved ones can be a powerful way of connecting on an emotional level that can calm our anxiety and bring us comfort, peace and a sense of belonging in a chaotic world.

Find Beauty in Small, Everyday things

As we start to notice more and more things around us to focus on and enjoy, we can start to find more reasons within our everyday reach that can make us happy.

This world teaches us to be goal oriented whether it is climbing the proverbial career ladder or reaching life milestones as dictated by society. School, job, relationships, marriage, house, children, etc etc. There is no dearth of goals to achieve or summits to conquer. Moving from one completed goal to the next can feel rewarding especially when our hard work eventually comes to fruition. This of course can feel less rewarding and more like busywork, when we forget to pause and spend a few moments to reflect and bask in the moment.

Stopping to take a breath, pressing pause on whatever we were doing, and really taking in our surroundings, can be an incredibly grounding experience. From calming anxiety to helping bring some perspective, a quick pause now and then can bring very fulfilling experiences by allowing us to really be present in a moment. Whether we choose to do that with family or friends, or just to spend more one on one time with ourselves, stopping to appreciate the small things in life can be an immensely gratifying experience.

Of course this is easier said than done. We all have things to do and places to be. But practicing to be present and focusing on small things that we can appreciate can lead to a feedback loop where we can train our brain to pause from whatever stressful situation is at hand, and focus on something positive for a bit. As we start to notice more and more things around us to focus on and enjoy, we can start to find more reasons within our everyday reach that can make us happy.

Practice Positive Self Talk

Being our own cheerleaders can go a long way in boosting our self confidence and keeping us motivated while navigating the bends and turns of life.

Oftentimes we are our harshest critics. While it is incredibly important that we treat others with respect and kindness, it is equally important to treat ourselves with the same kindness and empathy. Actively discouraging non-constructive and harsh self criticism as well as negative self talk is an essential step in living our best lives. Being our own cheerleaders can go a long way in boosting our self confidence and keeping us motivated while navigating the bends and turns of life.

Hearing motivational words when we need encouragement, or heartfelt praise when we achieve a goal, or kind understanding when we fail to achieve something, can offer us strength when we need it. Practicing to be the person who offers these words to ourselves ensures that we can always stop and reassess a situation if it goes south, without being overwhelmed by negative thoughts. It also builds a positive mindset where we are more resilient and more immune to feelings of doom and dejection when faced with a difficult situation.

Words of affirmation can be a powerful way to offer encouragement and reassurance. Practicing positive self talk can be a potent tool in our arsenal while dealing with challenges and hardships. Learning to pivot from a bad situation to take control of our emotions and get back on the right path can be the ultimate way to build resilience and achieve a state of calm and peace.

While achieving complete happiness may remain an elusive goal, it is more than likely that embracing one or more of the habits mentioned here could bring us some semblance of joy and calm for at least a little while. At a minimum, practicing these behaviors can keep our negative thoughts in check and can provide us with some tools to break out of a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings on days when we need a little extra TLC.

In our journey to be happy, cultivating good long term behaviors, and practicing habits that can boost our mental and consequently our physical well being is of utmost importance. Learning and practicing these beneficial routines is a long term investment that can reap great benefits over the course of our lives. So, let's start today on this journey, walking step by step forward, as it brings us closer to our goal of being happy.

As always, take a few moments to wrap yourself in a warm blanket of good feelings. Because you deserve it!